Never get out of the boat, absolutely Goddamed right not unless you were going all the way. Bye old lady, bye

I was ..... working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, no but seriously, I was doing a medical drama in Manchester and had an assistant who was on his first job. The series shot it's exteriors on location and interiors in the studio. Me and the assistant headed over to the hospital to finalise the deal with the hospital administrator. We pulled up in the near empty car park (the hospital was being redeveloped and most of it was closed down) next to a solitary car. I got out and asked the assistant to stay with the vehicle as that particular area of Manchester was notorious for car crime and we had cameras and waterproofs in the back.   He said "no problem" and I headed for the admin building. 


The meeting went well, I got the location for a good price and for the dates I needed, so I headed back to the car with a spring in my step. Upon my return the assistant came barreling towards me running his hands through his hair in a blind panic, 'you've got to help me find the old woman', he roared desperately, "you've gotta help me find her. "what old woman", I enquired quite reasonably given the surreal nature of the situation. It turned out that in the car next to us was a little old lady who had become distressed and was having difficulty opening the car door, my colleague, being a good natured and helpful chap, had come to her assistance. The old lady had promptly wandered off and my assistant settled into the car seat a satisfied smile on his face content in the knowledge that he had done his good deed for the day.


Unfortunately the old ladies in-laws did not share his sentiments, when they returned to the car to discover their 80 year old mother missing. The assistant had tried to explain himself, ventured that he was only trying to help and assured them that she would return soon, however he was cowed by the knowledge that the old lady suffered from dementia and struggled to remember who she was never mind where she was and that her chances of finding her way back to the car were about as high as a vicar on sunday.


And the moral of this story: never let the old lady out of the car, absolutely goddamed right, not unless you follow her all the way Bye old lady..... bye.